365 Days Later

The other day I got on Facebook, and it felt the need to remind me of a significant event that occurred in my life, exactly one year ago.
One year ago, I felt like I was at rock bottom.
One year ago, I suffered through the jaded looks, the questioning stares, and the tactless comments.
One year ago, I didn't know who I was, what I was doing, or where I was going.
One year ago, I was suffering with the worst depression I have ever faced in my life.

One year ago, I came home from my mission.
Thanks Facebook, but I still remember.

The feelings that I felt-and sometimes continue to feel- are unforgettable. I still remember everything so vividly, as if it had all happened yesterday. It's still so fresh and so raw, even though it was a year ago. Some things are just harder to find closure on.

It seems silly, like something that should be easily moved on from. But in reality, this wasn't a middle school break-up. This was so much more.
This was more like... like imagine you are afraid of water, but you decide to get on a yacht. You feel a little seasick, but you ignore it and start to get used to the feeling. You are pretty tense on the yacht, because you are afraid of water, but you're finally starting to believe that the yacht is safe, and is going to keep you out of the water.
But then, when you are in the middle of the ocean, the yacht sinks. And you can't swim. And everyone around you is swimming, and in those little life boats, but you are just sinking, deeper and deeper, surrounded by nothing but water, for miles and miles.
That doesn't even begin to describe what it feels like to me.

To be perfectly honest, I was sinking deeper and deeper into the water for a very long time. There were times when I felt for certain that I was going to drown, and that I was going to die. Literally. I have known people who felt the same way that I felt. I have known other missionaries who have returned early, and many physically cannot handle the pain. One missionary in particular, three years after returning home early, took his own life because of the pain, the guilt, and the other lingering affects. Three years later, folks. Clearly there is something deeper that maybe we do not understand.

But just because we don't understand something, doesn't mean that it isn't important and doesn't need to be addressed. Just because we don't understand it, doesn't mean it isn't real.

This past year has shown me pain, confusion, guilt, and depression deeper than anything I have ever before felt. It has shown me that sometimes I am weak, and sometimes I am fragile. Sometimes I feel broken, and often insecure. This past year I have learned what it feels like to be at an emotional rock bottom, and to feel like there is nothing that can save me.
I have learned that this kind of pain is real; for me, and for so many others.
Because this past year has also shown me that I am not the only one who has ever suffered. I am not the only one who feels weak, who feels insecure and broken.

That is the kicker. I can sit here telling you about the pain I felt for days on end, but we have all felt pain. We have all felt some kind of sorrow, confusion, guilt, or overall unpleasantness. I am not special in feeling this way, because we are all given trials. Some trials seem far beyond our capabilities. I can't say that I understand everyone's trials, because I absolutely do not. But I know someone who does.
Along with the struggles, this past year has also helped me understand the enabling power of the Atonement, and how I can always be brought back up from rock bottom if I turn TO the Savior, not away from Him. The Savior is the only one who can understand exactly how I feel. He is the only one who has felt the amount and depth of pain that I have felt. He is the only one who can help me through my trial, because He is the only one who knows perfectly what I am going through and how to get me out. That goes for every.single.person in the world.

There are so many trials that people experience that are downplayed or overlooked. So many things that people go through that we do not understand.  But God knows what we can handle. He gives every one different trials to face, and we may never know the depth of someone else's experiences. But one thing can be said for certain: kindness, charity, service, and Christlike love go a long way. Imagine how much easier trials might be if we were all just a little kinder, a little more thoughtful, and a little more patient with others.
We have so much power in our actions and our words.

Christ can help us overcome our trials; we can help make every day a little easier for someone else.
Just because we don't understand what they are going through, doesn't mean it isn't real.

Keep on smiling, folks. All the paint that is thrown at you will eventually wash off. 

A God of Miracles

Mark 5:22-43. "...Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague."
Miracle.
I am sitting here blank-minded, staring at an empty page, digging for words I cannot find.

How do I write what is now so deeply inscribed on my heart?  

Where do I begin?

Last Monday before I left for class, I was studying about miracles in the scriptures. 

When I got to my religion class that afternoon, the topic of discussion was MIRACLES. 

Miracles.

Miracles on the Roads of Palestine. Miracles performed by Christ during His earthly ministry. The fish and bread that fed thousands, the children and people raised from the dead, the healing of the woman with an issue of blood, the list goes on and on and on... 

MIRACLES. 

These specific miracles occurred when Christ was on the earth. But if there is one thing of which I am certain, it is this: God is unchanging. God has the same undying love for us now as he had for us when these miracles were performed. 

So this is my conclusion: God has not ceased to be a God of miracles. Miracles are still happening everywhere. 

Every day, even.

I didn't always believe in miracles. No lepers were being healed in front of me, so I didn't have any reason to believe in them. Right? Wrong.
May 4th, 2015. That is the first day I decided to study miracles in the scriptures. And that is the day I discovered that I had so many reasons to believe in miracles. They were happening right before my eyes, every day. All it took was Sister Burbank saying one thing to me that morning after personal study; "May the Fourth be with you!" We laughed at our cliche nerdiness for a minute, but then realization hit me, and it hit me hard: Evidence of miracles was sitting directly across from me at our desk. God placed Sister Burbank in my life, and if He hadn't, I, quite literally and quite possibly, would not be here today. 
Miracle.
In that split-second of mind-blowing recognition, I had a huge list of miracles pop into my head, and it was, if I may use the term, miraculous. 
How many miracles has God performed in my life? Countless.

All throughout that day, I was overwhelmed with the realization that my entire life had been full of little (and BIG) miracles that I had completely overlooked, considered to be luck, or labeled as just a coincidence. But there are no such things as coincidences. There is no luck. MIRACLES HAPPEN. They happen every day. I used to think that we overuse the phrase "it's a miracle..." But maybe we use it just enough. Maybe as often as we use the phrase, whether we say it playfully or not, is as often as God performs {unnoticed} miracles in a day.

But here is a question that needs to be asked:

Do I have the faith to see miracles in my everyday life now? 

Sister Burbank and I prayed together countless times a day in Thailand, and in each and every prayer we would humbly utter the words, "please help us to see miracles." At first, I thought we were asking God to perform miracles. 

However, the more I thought about the wording of her prayers, the more I understood. We weren't asking God to perform more miracles, but to have our eyes opened to the miracles that He already performs every day.
And our eyes were opened to them. 

Can I do that now? Yes. Has God stopped performing miracles in my life? Absolutely not. They are still happening all around me.

When I came home 5 1/2 months ago, I thought I would never be better. I thought I was at the end of the line. There was nothing that could possibly be done. Guess what? I was wrong. MIRACLE.

Yesterday I was again certain of that very same thing. Guess what? Wrong again. MIRACLE.

Today I felt like I was being ground into the dirt, crushed under heavy stones, with no escaping. Then this video appeared on my computer home page: Lifting Burdens. (WATCH IT.)
MIRACLE.

I have learned that miracles happen all the time, even when we feel undeserving of them.
But when we have faith, when we build our foundation on Jesus Christ, and when we recognize that through Him, all things are possible, even miracles, that is when miracles happen the most.

On Monday, I decided that I would search out the miracles in each and every day. I resolved to strengthen my faith in Jesus Christ, and to solidify my foundation on Him. I continually pray for my eyes to be opened to miracles.
So far, I have not been disappointed.
I believe in miracles.





(The word miracle can be seen 38 times in this post.
How many miracles can be seen in my day today?)

Five Months in the wrong Direction

Hi Friends,

I decided to come back for a little minute to share my experiences of being home. I can't believe that my last blog post was nearly five months ago...but those are the facts. I've been home for nearly 5 months.

The weird part, to me, isn't that I've been home for almost five months, per say. The weird part is that I would have been hitting my 8 month mark pretty soon. And yet, I'll always be a greenie. And guess what?

This hurts.

It has never stopped hurting.

I know, no one wants to hear that, no one really wants to know. But that's the truth of the matter, it will always be one of the most painful and difficult things I have experienced. I still struggle to even talk about it. You would think that, after all this time, I would at least be able to tell people.

But I still can't.

I suppose I'm still ashamed.

Here at BYU-I, the topic is almost unavoidable, as everyone and their mother likes to talk about their missions. Especially if you are a girl, I swear.

I never lie about it, though.

I'm just very good at circumnavigating.

But then the pain starts all over again, and the person asking about my mission has no idea how bad it is hurting me.

Why does it hurt so much?

Still?

This has not been an easy journey. I don't even expect it to get easier. How could it?

I still question, (multiple times a week, probably,) why this happened.

I still blame myself.

I still feel like burying myself in a hole and never coming out.

I still feel like I am a failure.

I still feel like I have lost my sense of purpose and have lost my way completely.

Still.

I don't think this will ever go away.

Because how is a person expected to go from knowing so firmly that a mission was the correct path, and knowing exactly what their purpose was as a missionary, to suddenly being home with no clear purpose anymore,  and just get over that?

They can't.

I can't.

But I try so hard.

On the morning of May 14, the first morning of being back, I pulled out my makeup to get ready for the day. (I got up, even though I wanted to stay hidden in my bed for all eternity. That took every ounce of me.) However, I pulled out my makeup, only to find that it was all broken. It had all broken on the flight back from Thailand.

It was exactly like me.

Broken.

It was more than I could handle.

I started sobbing right then and there, heaving on the bathroom floor.

I think about that morning more often than I should. I will never forget how it feels to be broken by something so simple as a twenty-something hour plane ride home from Thailand. 

However, there is a difference between me and the makeup: it ended up in the trash, not even salvageable.

But I will not give up like that.

I have wavered a lot, I have not been as diligent as I know I need to be, I have questioned a lot of things.

But even though I sometimes feel broken, I have never stopped trying.

This all sounds so dramatic. I want to just re-read this all and laugh at it and erase the soap opera that I just wrote.

But I can't, because every single word that I have written is exactly how it is for me. Its all true. I'm sure its different for others in different situations. But for me, in my situation, and for the many others like me, this is what we go through. I am not writing this to gain any sympathy, because that is the last thing I want. In fact, it might even cause a shift in some relationship dynamics.

However, I felt that this was important to share.

Missionaries need support, even when returning home.

I might even say more so when returning home.

Especially if its early.

In fact, the reason I've even gotten this far is attributed to three very important things:

1. A good support system

      I will brag and say that I absolutely have the best. My parents, my friends in Thailand still, and my friends here. They love me, even when I feel like I don't deserve it. They lift me up, kick me into shape, and keep me going.

2. Continued prayer and scripture study

      I will admit, I have not been the best at this. For the first several months (and still periodically) I received daily text message reminders to read my scriptures. I'm beyond grateful for those reminders. Sometimes- a lot of times- it is hard to find the desire to even read a verse, or even open up the Book of Mormon. But at this time in my life, I need it the most. At this point, when my faith is so vulnerable, I have needed those reminders to not let it crumble, but to keep drawing myself closer to God through the scriptures and constant prayer. I have felt a significant difference between the days I don't read and pray, and the days I do. I can get through a day much easier when I continually strive to have my foundation built on Christ.

3. The Atonement

      Jesus Christ has felt my pain. Even when sometimes it is so unbearable that I can't imagine anyone has ever felt anything so painful, Christ has. I know He has, because I've felt His peace and comfort when I cry out and ask (sometimes beg) for it. He is always there. He will not leave me comfortless. I can do all things through Christ. Even get through a bad day.

So now you know. Now you know that coming home early from a mission is the hardest thing you will experience to-date. Now you know how fragile I am. Now you know how many early-release missionaries feel.

Most importantly, now you know how we get through it. Heavenly Father knew that we would all feel broken sometimes. Jesus Christ knew it, too. So Christ willingly came to this earth and experienced every.single. bit of our brokenness. All of it. No matter how bad it feels, He has felt it too, so we don't have to be alone. We are never deserted, even if it feels that way. Scripture study, prayer, the atonement- all for our benefit. So we don't have to feel broken forever.

Thank you to all of you who have been there giving me your love and support. I need it and appreciate it more than you know! Its helping, and I am doing much better than I was five months ago, I think. You all are the best. :)

Back from Thailand... but not really home.

I’ve always heard that every mission is different; every missionary is different, is in a different place, has different trials and growing experiences, learns something different, so on and so forth. With all the warnings I received, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the mission I served was so… well… different.

But the most different thing about my mission is that it ended after only 3 months.

I used to be one of those people that never fully understood why a missionary would come home early from their mission, and I’ll admit, I was probably judgmental of them. However, now it’s me. I am in the shoes of the returned-early-missionary. And not a single piece of me wants to be home. I want to be in Thailand, where I was called to serve! It only took me a very short time to realize that I love Thailand; I love the culture, I love the people, I love the country, and I loved my calling as a missionary! I will be honest and say that being a missionary is a hard job. It’s not all fun and games, sight-seeing and lounging around. You don’t go on a mission to travel and have fun. You go on a mission to serve the Lord, to work, and to preach the gospel (and have fun while doing it!) It’s a full-time, go-go-go job, and it is absolutely amazing. The more you work, the better you feel! Usually. Unfortunately for me, the harder I worked, the worse I got… So now I’m here. And my heart is still in Thailand. I wish I could adequately explain how much it hurts to be here.

When a missionary comes home, it’s such a joyous event! Friends and family come and visit, congratulations are given, parties thrown, proud parents begging to hear more stories of the mission, all kinds of typical celebratory measures. But of course, that’s to be expected!

When your missionary serves the full 18-24 months that they were assigned to serve. 
 
When a missionary comes home early, the reactions tend to be a little different, and I wish it wasn’t that way. Fortunately for me, I still have proud parents; but sometimes that isn’t always the case. No one can ever understand what it’s like to come home 3 months into the mission. No one can ever understand the pain, the heart ache, and the longing that comes along with returning early. And because no one understands, no one knows how to react. Did they do something wrong? Are they just giving up? Could they just not handle the hard work? Are they not worthy? Questions flood the minds of everyone that sees a missionary back before they’re expected. Sometimes the questions exit the mind and are voiced to the missionary… that shouldn’t happen. The missionary is having a hard enough time as it is. I’m just now learning this myself, and never again will I judge or question a missionary who has returned early; I don’t know their struggle. But I certainly know my own.

So here’s some advice to anyone dealing with a missionary who has returned early beyond their control- whether you’re the missionary, the family, or a friend. Let’s just clear up the awkwardness, throw out the self-blame, take courage, and keep moving forward.

1. The Mission Call: “You will be expected to maintain the highest standards of conduct and appearance by keeping the commandments, living the mission rules, and following the counsel of your Mission President. As you devote your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs, the Lord will bless you…”
* You served
* You dedicated yourself to the mission
* You were a worthy missionary
* The Lord will bless you
The Mission call states that as you dedicate yourself to service, become a diligent missionary, and forget about yourself and the things at home, the Lord will bless you. That’s a promise, straight from God. Do you think God will break His promise if you did your best? As a missionary, I tried to do my best every single day. Sometimes that wasn’t much. But it was all I had. God knew that. He knew it was my best, and He knew that I was holding up my end of the bargain by living the mission rules, keeping the commandments, following my mission president, and devoting my time to the Lord. There is no reason to feel guilty for coming home early if it’s out of your control and you did your best while you served.

2. Missions are Forever: “All that getting released means is that you are taking the tag off your shirt and writing it on your heart, and that will never go away if you do everything you can to serve him” –Morgan Hunsaker. (I didn’t ask for permission to quote him, so I hope he doesn’t hate me for it.)
* The tag comes off the shirt; but it’s imprinted on your heart
* Missionary callings don’t go away; you’re just released from being full-time
* YOU CAN STILL SERVE
It’s not the same, I know, but missions are forever! Whether it was a 3 month service, or a full 24 month service, the mission doesn’t end when you come home. As Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “RM doesn’t mean retired Mormon!” Keep on being a missionary! Study the scriptures, pray, share the gospel, continually build your testimony, and SERVE God forever.

3. You have potential: “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
* God has so much in store for us that we know nothing about
* HE HAS A PLAN
* He knows our potential
It sometimes seems like everything was pointless; nothing was gained, nothing changed, why did I even leave if I was just going to come back? There are so many questions. This is one thing that needs to always be remembered: GOD HAS A PLAN. We do not know God’s plan. We don’t even know our own potential. But God DOES! Everything has a purpose, and everything will build us up into the people we are meant to be, if we are following God and doing His will. We just need to trust Him! Sometimes it seems like there was no point in leaving for 3 months, because God knew I wouldn’t be on a mission for the full 18 months. So why did I go? I may never know the full effects of my mission. I may never know why I was called to Thailand. However, I know there was a reason for it. Now I know there is a reason for me to be home! God didn’t call me on a mission (or back home), just to break me down and leave me at my lowest point. He is going to build me up and help me reach my full potential, if I continually rely on Him.


Coming home from a mission early is probably the hardest thing in the entire world. It takes more courage than you would think. If I had my choice, I would still be in Thailand, serving with everything that I have. However, I am home because that is the path that is meant for me. I trust my Heavenly Father, I know that He has so much in store for me, and if coming home early is how I’m going to become who He wants me to become, then fine. I’ll do everything I can while I am home to continue to serve Him. I will love and live His gospel with all my heart and soul. I will serve His children with all my might. I will do His will, every day of my life. I am devastated to not be in Thailand right now; but God’s children everywhere need to be served- and apparently I am meant to be serving from home right now.

HUMBLED TO THE KNEE....

Literally....

The story goes something like this: I was biking to a Wat (that's the problem, right? I was being punished...) and I decided that I would be cool and skid on my bike, and instead of being cool, I was super uncool and flew like clear over my bike and landed straight on my knee and it looked like a unicorn horn. fact. I could not stop laughing though, I was in so much pain I couldn't even come to grips with it, so I just laughed away all the pain...... and was taken to a hospital. Apparently, the two bones in my legs (the big one and the littler one? I'm not a doctor?...) Got smashed together somehow, making the fluid between them under the kneecap get pushed forward into the front of my knee, and my kneecap was super out of place. My knee was legitimately smashed. Hahahah so yeah, my life isn't real, and I have to stay off my leg foreverrrrrr basically and it's such a hassle because I just want to WORK and I can't because I'm stuck inside on pain meds. Thankfully no surgery is necessary.  But I am going to Bangkok on Wednesday to see a doctor. Again. Lol I can't even handle life right now. but look at that smile. ;) (I think I'll leave out the part about the pinched nerve that left me paralyzed all morning on Saturday? Sounds like a good plan. Don't worry mom, I'm fine I swear.)

On a happier note, Sister Burbank and I have been working our butts off (when we can get members to give us rides...) and we have seen miracles! The goal for the Thailand Bangkok mission is 4 baptisms  per companionship in the month of May. That will be about 340 baptisms in May. So far Sis B and I have 8 scheduled for this month and that is all because of ALMA 26:12!!!! We are weak, but God is strong, and will perform miracles when we exert enough faith! We have had nothing but faith to rely on this week, so we have become such firm believers in miracles! However, we also know that faith without works is dead, so even though we have built our faith up tremendously, we also work crazy hard every single day. Millions of phone calls, millions of people invited, millions of lessons... all of our daters have some sort of problem that they are dealing with, so they have missed their previous dates and baptisms (heart breaking, really), and we are trying to figure out how to help them with the Lords help. All things are possible through Him, even when you have a smashed knee. I know it. Miracles are happening here in Thailand, and Satan is fighting them. But he will not win, because 1. Thailand missionaries are strong, 2. Thai people are strong, and 3. God is STRONGEST. If we have faith in Him and ACT in that faith, MIRACLES WILL HAPPEN. I can not emphasize that enough, I swear. 

This week was a tough one, I'm not going to lie. It was long, it was hard, it was dreary and dragged on forever. There was so much work to be done, and yet I can't speak the language in, and I can't get anywhere in order to do it. but if it wasn't hard, we wouldn't learn, we wouldn't grow, we wouldn't build our faith, and we wouldn't see as many miracles as we have seen. So I'm grateful for the trials and adversity. Because that is how I will grow. (That sounds like such a missionary sentence. Yep, living the life!)

 

Okay, I love you all! Thank you for the prayers and the support, I honestly feel all the love every single day. You all rock, have a great week!

Sister Anderson

 

 

 

I volunteered to go into the arena, and this happened

There's a cast and knee pain under those capris, don't let them fool you. ​But look how cute the elephant is! Ours did not have a fancy basket thing to ride in, we rode them bareback like bosses.

 

HELLO PHUKHON SUAY

FAMILY!

That subject line can either mean "hello beautiful people", or "hello terrible people," depending on the tone. Take your pick ;) (It's probably not correct anyway, let's be real, I don't speak Thai.)

 

So many miracles happened this week, I don't know where to begin. The baptisms that we had scheduled for last week did not happen, unfortunately. The dates don't always keep. But we have 3 scheduled for this week, Nim, Gong, and Tong, so keep praying for them! Nim is especially solid; she and her mother are meeting with us, and her son is meeting with the Elders, and now she wants us to teach her husband! It's a pretty awesome family :) We have definitely seen the power of prayer work in our lives this week as well! We don't always know what to do, where to go, what to say, or how to do our jobs, but when we pray, things always work out how they are supposed to! Also I have seen how the enabling power of the Atonement can honestly help us overcome anything. The Atonement isn't just for overcoming sins, but also working through weaknesses and making them strengths. That is for sure.  We had 12 investigators this week, and a total of 18 investigator lessons taught with a member present, 13 other lessons, 7 recent convert/less active member lessons, and 4 new investigators for next week. We started last Thursday with 0 off all of those things. So if that isn't evidence that prayer, hard work, faith, and reliance of Jesus Christ brings miracles, I don't know what is! We are trying to double our numbers for next week. 

In case you were all wondering, I have made friends here. Yes, Sister Anderson has friends. Weird, I know. Especially since I don't speak...ever... but their names are Rose and Kat, and they are the most perfect girls ever. I just want to squeeze them. That's the picture I send home last week... they are 13 and 14. Rose is an investigator, I told you about her last week. But I brought them up today because I am so grateful for them! They show me that you don't always have to speak the language to get a message across. It's refreshing, especially this week!

 

Okay, love you all soo much!!!! Thanks for all the love and support! You all are the best!

 

 

 

COCKROACH SLAYER

Oh Good morning friends :)

I think the subject title says a lot about my week! So if that doesn't get you excited for this e-mail, I don 't know what will! 

A week ago today,  at 3:35 in the morning, I boarded a train that would change my life forever.... haha okay as dramatic as that sounds, it's definitely the truest statement I've ever made in my life. Since that point, I've been on a plane for a total of 22 hours, been on another train for 12 hours, melted a million times, eaten fermented fish paste, and killed cockroaches. All things that I never thought I would do in a thousand years. 

 

I am currently in a little town called Sisaket, with my AMAZING COMPANION SISTER BURBANK. I can't even explain to you all the love I have for this area. I LOVE SISAKET! It's adorable, the people are so kind and humble and smiley, and the food is unbelievable. Also, there are water buffalo everywhere. Doesn't get much better than that. :) Except it DOES!! Because the Branch here is so good!! Ahhh the members are so awesome. They make fun of me all the time, and it's the greatest thing ever because I have no clue what they are saying! :D When the members here are strong, they are STRONG! I mean that. We have had so many referrals from members already, and we always have at least 5 members willing to go to investigator lessons with us- and they all come! Which is good, because I have no idea how to speak Thai, but they do. So that's helpful! But the most helpful thing is the amazing testimony of each and every member. They are such pioneers, and they have such strong testimonies! Ahhhh I get chills thinking about them. :) So you could say I love Sisaket :) As for Sister Burbank! We are so very similar! We get along so well! She is the best trainer ever, even though she sometimes throws me in with the sharks and asks me to explain the plan of salvation on the fly to an investigator... Literally the hardest lesson for me to teach. (I did something cool though... I stole an object lesson idea from my MTC teacher, and compared the gospel to a pen... basically he couldn't follow my hand unless he was grasping the pen with me. Hard to explain in writing, but I felt like a total boss.) Don't worry, that investigator is getting baptized on Sunday. :) And so is his mother! I have to tell you the story of these two. Brother Ef was a referral from a member, and we had tried to call him throughout the week and had no success. We called again on Saturday night, with no success. Then on Sunday morning he called us, 5 minutes before church, to apologize for missing our calls. We invited him to come to church in 5 minutes, and HE CAME and brought his grandma and a friend! So later than night we went to teach him, and he committed to baptism (probably because he was impressed by my pen analogy ;) ...just kidding, it was all the Spirit!) After his lesson, his mom came out and sat in the spot where Ef was sitting and said "okay. Teach me." We taught her, and committed her to baptism as well! I was able to extend the invitation to the both of them, and it was the greatest feeling in the world when they accepted!! AHHH so there are 2 of the 4 baptisms we have on Sunday :) 

I have gained a HUGE testimony that this gospel is truly a gospel of miracles, God is a God of miracles! I know that as I work hard, and dedicate myself to this work, I will truly see so many miracles. And that's what I'm here for! I am here to bring others unto Christ, and to see many miracles done by the hand of God. And I have already seen so many in the past few days. Even though this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and I can't understand a SINGLE word that is ever said, I have been so happy... even in the saddest moments. It's hard to describe. But it's hard not to be happy when you're literally serving other people all the time, and serving the Lord 24/7. I have been so humbled by all my weaknesses and inadequacies, but I know that I am being qualified, because there is NO WAY I could do all this on my own. I love the strength I get from my Savior every day. It's an amazing thing.